The Ruining of the Asian Handshake

YES I'm STILL PISSED ABOUT IT, CAUSE IT WAS ANCIENT, ANCIENT!!!!!! The story is from the mall. I had to go take like the biggest crap, so I went to take it. AND THAT SHIT WAS HUGE. Like giving birth out of your ass. And then, like you know how you just keep on wiping, and there's still that crap stain on it? So I was like, "WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?!?!?!" So then finally, I took my crap birth, and wiped the never ending crap. And when I came back I was like, "So anything happen?" and they were like "Why were you in there so long?" and I was like, "I had to take a crap." and they were like, "Are you sure? Cause we thought you were jacking it" and I was like, "AHHHHHHHHHHH OMG NOOOO NO NO" And I was spazzing like that for a good 8 minutes. And that's the story of the POISONING of the Asian Handshake.